So I am a graduate again!

The day was cold and rainy and very, very long, but in the end, it was worth it and I'm happy that my mom forced (okay, strongly urged) me to go. Patrick slept over on Tuesday night so that we could get up early and leave by 7:15 since I had to pick up my gown. Turns out that there was no line-up at all, so we had a good hour to kill before I needed to robe and start to line up (at which point it started raining!). I saw a lot of people I knew and was able to catch up, but too bad I didn't see my pal Mallory until the last minute, and then I didn't meet up with her after :( so no catching up or photo opportunities. After we lined up in Redpath Hall, we walked down the hill to the tent, and that's when the excitement/anxiety began to set in. I felt strangely and surprisingly emotional - so I guess Julie was right when she said it would provide a much-needed sense of closure. I never went to my first grad, and we didn't even have a party, so this time around it definitely felt more special. We sat through rounds and rounds and rounds of names until finally it was time to get ready to go up on stage. I got to keep my cap on AND have a handshake because I have another degree (those with only one degree have to take their cap off and get taped on the head by some important McGill person - how bizarre, no?).

After the ceremony, the faculty gathered together for a class photo on the steps of the Redpath museum, which took forever! We were all squashed together and tons of people were swarming around to take our photo, which happened to block the actual photographer... and then it started to rain on us... Finally they got all the shots they needed (which you would need to buy) and I was looking everywhere for Mallory but couldn't find her! By then I was fed up and decided to leave - I came home with a migraine, and was pampered by Patrick. I took a nap and woke up just in time to prepare for the arrival of our guests.

My mom went all out with the food and drinks, as usual. I was spoiled with gifts and cards, which I did not expect at all! We took loads of pictures, which I am just sorting through now. Overall, a nice day that left me quite exhausted. Going back to school today was hard, but it made me realize how lucky I am to be working in the same classroom everday until (fingers crossed) the end of the school year.

Okay, time for a shower and *maybe* some scrapping before bed. Cheers!

Time keeps rolling by... lalalala...

So, I'm still working hard in grade one! It's a short week however, since I'm taking tomorrow off to go to my grad, and then Friday is a ped day. Summer is right around the corner.

Today was a busy day. Aside from work, I helped my mom clean our house, since we are a having a party tomorrow evening to celebrate the "big" day... (truth be told, I'm not all that excited and am not looking forward to about 4 hours of waiting to walk across a stage for all of twenty seconds... but I have to humor my mother)... I also went to spin and felt as though I was going to die because the instructor was so intense! She kept telling us to put up the resistance, but we weren't allowed to decrease it even during the rest period. It was a super-endurance burn. Then I came home to plan the outfit, now I'm helping Pat to plan his, and soon I will go take a well-deserved shower. I hate how high-maintenance my hair is. Whenever I wash it, it has to be blow-dried and then straightened or else it looks like a giant poof-ball. Anyways, enough rambling on that topic.

I hope the sun decides to show itself tomorrow, even though it's unlikely that will happen.

I wish I had some interesting photos or layouts to share, but I don't. Actually, I'm behind on uploading a few cards and a layout... will get around to that eventually. And I'm sure I'll have some nice photos after tomorrow (or at least I hope so!). Cheers!

Hmm... maybe it's time that I update my blog again...

It's funny how life ebbs and flows. Right now I am really not in the mood to blog. I am busy with other things, like teaching. I haven't been scrapping. But I have been reading and watching a lot of movies. Oh, and working out at the gym. Those seem to be the priorities that are most important to me right now. I have no desire to go to my scrap table - none. I have more desire to do some digi scrapping, although I have been downloading all these kits and many have yet to be touched. When summer comes, I'm sure I'll find my groove again for all these other projects that I have on the back burner.

My students were so good today I could have just cried. It's been such a long road, but after 5 weeks together, they've finally settled in (fingers crossed). Even the one boy who is very, very difficult was so good today. It makes me feel so accomplished. Many of the other teachers have been complimenting me, so that also really means a lot!

It was my mom's birthday on May 6th, and then of course it was Mother's Day on the following weekend. So I ended up getting her these two things as a combined gift:

The show was amazing! I definitely recommend it to anyone. They are soooo talented. The costumes are out of this world. The whole thing was really more than we expected, especially since we'd never seen a Cirque du Soleil show before.

Anyways, there is more to say, but I'm tired and in no mood, plus I need to fold laundry and then get ready to go to the gym. So cheers...

Talk about being out of the blogging groove... I apologize to all my loyal followers ;)
So, life as a first grade teacher is indeed an interesting thing. There is never a dull moment. All of the teachers in the school have been saying that it's trial by fire, and after this I'll be ready for anything. So, so true. Did I forget to mention that I'm replacing a teacher for the time being (possibly until the end of the year)? Well, that's what's been consuming my life for the past two and a bit more weeks. I have become the ultra-organized multi-tasker. Thanks for all the prep Anna, I'm finally ready to take it all on :)

Aside from that, my bestest bud had her "surprise" bridal shower yesterday (above is the card I made for her). Well, we didn't fool her very much, and she was being a very naughty girl questioning her fiance for every detail, but he didn't let the secret out before the actual event. It was a lot of fun, many laughs, good food, and a pile of gifts for Julie! You deserve it!! Here are some photos from the event. Julie may kill me for the "hat" photo.

Four days off just flew by in no time at all. It was my birthday weekend and Easter combined, so quite a few things were going on, not to mention the fact that I finished my stage last Thursday and have now started subbing in a grade one class for an undetermined amount of time at the moment. I feel like I need another four day vacation after today! But I would rather reminisce about my lovely weekend.

On Thursday night, I stayed at school photocopying resource books until past 6 pm (crazy I know) and was pampered by my cooperating teacher who gave me some nice teacher-related gifts. She even made a little spiral-bound book with pictures of the class, and hand-written messages from all the children. I got all sappy over that.

After the long day, I went to Patrick's for supper. His family had decided to celebrate Easter that evening, so I rushed there to have a really nice several-course meal prepared by his aunt and uncle. They made the famous Oreo cake for dessert, and of course I had to have a huge piece. They sang me happy birthday and all, and I got a nice card from Pat's dad and sister.

The next day, I went to do my own workout at the gym and relaxed in the sauna (wow, I love my new gym). Then I went shopping for supplies, went to get my hair high-lighted, cut and styled, and then Julie and Ken had us over for my special birthday supper. I don't know how I managed to forget my camera for that event. We are really out of the photography and scrapbooking groove. Anyways, it was a super great meal with chicken parmesan and cupcakes for dessert. We then played the now-famous psychiatrist game - it never fails to disappoint. We acted out our parents this time, and apparently I am pretty convincing as my mother, because Ken caught on immediately, which kinda ruined the fun, but watcha gonna do.

Saturday was another busy day. I went to do spinning in the morning, started planning for this week, went to try on shoes for our bridesmaid attires, then had an Easter dinner (sort of, although half the family was missing). By the evening, all I wanted to do was vegetate, which exactly what I did. Patrick watched hockey and then I went to bed at 10:30 pm.

On Sunday, my mom made a brunch with blueberry waffles (just for the two of us) and then I got packed to go to the Alt hotel with Patrick as his birthday get-away gift for me. We arrived in late afternoon and stayed the night. Wow, what a nice place!! Check the photos... it was so good to go somewhere chic and new. It was just the escape that we both needed. We also went to try Casey's for supper and were pleasantly surprised.

Yesterday was an easy-going day. I tried the new Jukari class at the gym. If you aren't familiar with this (as I wasn't before I joined), you will be amazed after watching this. I am in so much pain today after holding on to that bar and jumping around for an hour. It is so much fun though, despite that!

Anyways, time to crawl in bed. I'll leave you with some photos from the hotel. Cheers :)

Some random thoughts/happenings at the moment:

1 - I have 4 days of stage left and then I'm officially DONE. Yay me!

2 - I am now a member of Mansfield gym. I did a spinning class this morning and found it very hard but so invigorating. It's going to be fun getting back into the groove of working out properly.

3 - I need to get inspired by photography again. I need to take more pictures.

4 - I need to get back into scrapbooking.

5 - I'm getting my hair cut next Friday night and can't wait. It's about time for a change.

6 - Patrick is super busy with clients lately and I'm so proud of him. Things have really picked up in the last little while. I can't help but think how the world works in mysterious ways. I'm tempted to believe that it was part of his mom's gift to him...

7 - We are carrying on fairly well considering.

8 - I'm working at the library this weekend, so I have little time to do anything.

9 - My mom had a birthday supper for my grandma and I this evening. There was lots of delicious food, 2 amazing cakes, and the usual laughs. Of course, I got no decent pictures of the event.

10 - We also got a new kitchen table today, which was set up just on time! There is always something going on...

11- We played this game called "psychiatrist" where one person leaves the room, and everyone else has to think of a "problem" and then act it out when the person comes back. That person then has to guess what the problem is by asking questions and deciphering what the heck is going on. It is SOOO funny. Some examples: we collectively were Celine Dion; another one was that each person was a finger (thumb, ring finger, etc); and yet another, we each acted like the person sitting to our left... The game was introduced to us last week by Nadine and Brad and we had a great time playint it then as well. I recommend it if you have a crowd over and are looking to laugh like crazy.

12 - I should really be going to bed now. I feel like I'm on the verge of coming down with something again. Patrick and my mom are both sick. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that I'm starting to develop an immunity against the infected children I come into contact with every day. Anyways, goodnight!

I haven't updated my blog in over a week because things have been very hectic. Patsy died last Monday, very early in the morning. I only found out when I came home from stage that evening, so it was rough, because I knew that it had probably happened sometime that day, but I didn't know any details. It is a crying shame but it was for the best I think because she is in a better place now... Of course, it hasn't sunk in that she has gone for me, even after seeing her yesterday at the funeral. It is all so surreal and I imagine it will be like that for a while. I told Patrick yesterday how I could still hear her voice so clearly in my mind. Every time I think of a memory of her, she is just there, beside me. It's strange to explain, and I didn't think it would feel like this, but I suppose that is what it's like to loose someone you were close to. It is the first death of somebody that I was very close to, aside from my grandfather, but I was too young to remember much of that experience.

I also had a mole removed the morning that Patsy died, so a week ago now, and I was super freaked out at the sight/sound of a blade near my body after having spent the previous night in the hospital for several hours. Anyways, the procedure went well, so nothing to worry about there. It has been more the emotional strain, plus having to juggle all the prep of school with all the prep of funeral arragenments and such that were taking place over the last week.

The funeral was very nice and so many people came. We are lucky to have such supportive friends, neighbors and relatives. It was a great turnout, and so many people sent beautiful flowers, too many in fact! But it was very thoughtful of everyone. The clencher for me was when Patrick made a speech... I had read it beforehand and knew that I would ball my eyes out, and sure enough, I did. He started crying during it, so of course that just set me off. And then towards the very end of the service, they played "Spirit in the Sky" and Patrick went up to the coffin to say his final goodbyes.... oh my God, I've never been so touched in all my life.

I will leave you with Patrick's words that he dedicated to his mother yesterday, they say it all...

On behalf of my family and I, I’d like to thank everyone for being here today to celebrate the life of my mother, Patricia Luce.

There is no need to talk about how young my mother was when she passed away or the suffering that she endured, what I would like to talk about is the way my mom choose to live her life when faced with the greatest of adversity possible.

She lived life as if there was no alternative but to live. That the choice to give up did not exist, that there was no other way to live but to keep on being alive. And she lived each day finding the joy and beauty in the simple things in life, not because she was forced to enjoy them like most would feel, but because she choose to truly appreciate what she could take from living in the moment.

In part what I would like to offer to you is a small insight to the great gifts my mother has left with me, and perhaps they can leave a meaningful imprint with you as well:

In my mom’s last weeks, she said that “Even under the same roof we can all be strangers if we don’t take a moment to appreciate one another”. And she took every moment she had to make sure we knew she appreciated us. She found value not just living life through the motions, but acting in ways that made people know she loved them: every time we would be close to her, for whatever reason “out of the blue” that she could think of, she would not hesitate to wrap her arms around us and say “I love you”.

Even in her last hours she cared so much about the well being of others, that she had the strength to crack a joke or two, around family and loved ones, while not even having the physical strength to swallow properly. Thinking back on it now, what courage, bravery, and love must that have taken!

Many of us question, what is to happen to me when I pass on? Where will I go? And what will my legacy be?

For me, my mom’s legacy lives on deeply, not in memorials and trust funds, but in me, my sister, my brother, and certainly my father, and perhaps everyone that had a chance to see my mother live, whether she was battling cancer or not. In a way her passing has made my life clearer and more tangible in many ways. When faced with adversity I ask myself, what would mom do, what would mom want me to do, and as if by some special connection that can never be undone, her voice shines through, her qualities, and strengths to overcome all of her adversities in life are reminded to me, and the problems I deal with in life become so manageable. For me my mom’s legacy lives on in me forever, when I take the time to appreciate every kind and unselfish act she has ever done, and of course taught me.

As for what is to happen to me? And where will I go?

I will share some personal insight from my mom that gives me strength that life and death are not such unknown things.

Growing up with my mom I have had the privileged of discovering that my mom possessed a special gift. The ability to see bits of the future in dreams. I know for some this may seem a little difficult to believe or perhaps for other it has maybe happened once or twice, but with my mom I have witnessed at least a dozen of these premonitions come true. Some of her premonitions where comical, like someone losing their false front teeth, and some were very deep, like knowing a loved one was ready to pass on, and although my mom never embraced this gift, it’s ability was always very apparent and obvious throughout my life. These dreams would come randomly, and she would talk about them a little, and days or weeks later the event would happen, for some strange reason this was just something we learned to accept, that was just part of who my mom was. This in itself could be very meaningful just in and of itself, however there is much more. When my mom gave birth to my sister there was vast number of complications, but among them was the fact that she almost died while giving birth. Without going into great detail about the experience, I would like to share with you a very special experience my mother described during that moment:

She said that when she lost consciousness from a severe complication while giving birth to my sister, she felt her soul leaving her body, and rush that felt like pure bliss, and warmth all around her, she clearly saw the white light, and even saw deceased family members. She said the experience was so pleasant that she found it difficult to not leave, the only thing that allowed her to stay focused to return to her body, was her desire to not leave her daughter alone in this world without a mother.

Later on I learned that she also had a similar experience when she was very young. You may take what you will from this, but for someone to have actually lived many years with my mom and having experienced these things, I can tell you that in my heart my mother is in a much better place now. And that her life was such blessing, and that only now in her passing I can truly realize it.

It is unfortunate that most of us are creatures of such comfort and habit, that we only realize the value of something when it is gone. And of course I am no different. There are times in the past that I truly wish I could have taken more time to do things with my mom, or have been a better son, but those thoughts fade when I realize, they won’t do my mom’s passing justice. Those thoughts won’t allow me to pass on her legacy, her lessons of life, which she not only spoke of but proved to me through her own actions.

So in closing I would like to leave you with two of these lessons that I believe are quite profound and meaningful:

The first being; never hold anger for anyone, it is waste of time, energy, and ultimately you forget to love those you care for most.

And the second is, never believe you can’t do something.

I believe these two beliefs allowed my mom to live almost 8 years beyond what the doctors expected.

Imagine if we were to allow ourselves to have the same beliefs, what could we achieve in our lives?

My sincere thanks to everyone here in body and spirit.

---- In loving memory of Patricia Luce ----