Sunday, August 22, 2010

Weekend meanderings

I am going to avoid discussion of the extremely stressful, exciting, overwhelming week that just came to pass. I will put it on hold until more news can be shared, until this state of limbo clears.

It is Sunday morning, wet and dreary. The air is colder than it has been all season. The light feels like it is fading, along with summer. I am still hoping for a last little wave of heat, but some part of me knows that it is time to give it up. It is passing and new things are to come, appealing in their own ways. The time of year is not entirely unpleasant. I am reminded that we are fortunate to have four distinct seasons, each with different wonders to offer. How bland it would seem to have one continuous weather pattern for the whole year.

I am a few minutes away from a workout. I am not in the mood to do it, but I will. I know I will feel better afterwards. I am already sore from asking Patrick to train me yesterday; muscles I had not targeted in a good while are complaining. I am reminded how important it is to incorporate personalized workouts, accustomed to my strengths and weaknesses, rather than only doing generalized group programs. I keep telling Pat that he may as well be a personal trainer as well, he is so good at it.

It has occurred to me that I never shared photos of my adventures from last weekend. We had a nice time with Brad and Nadine - it had been waaaay too long! They were great hosts and their new doggie, Penny, was a real treat. It's too bad I didn't end up getting a picture of her. I did manage to snap a few shots while we were touring the Gatineau mountains and visiting the Mackenzie King estate. That was pretty interesting to see, especially the pieces of architecture that he managed to salvage and incorporate into the scene. Pretty avant-guard for his times.

Alright, well, I'm off. First Sunday I'm home in a while, so I'm going to appreciate it.

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

The waiting game

I am sitting before my screen, still in pyjamas. No time to take a shower for fear I will miss “the” call. The call may or may not come. There are so many ways this day can play out. The varying degrees are all unknown. I try to tell myself there is excitement to be had in the waiting, but it is challenging. My heart is beating faster than normal. My right side has the familiar pinch that comes with over-thinking, over-hunching as I type, over-caffeinating and staying at my computer for far longer than is healthy. On facebook I have never had so many chat windows open at the same time. My cell phone is vibrating every few minutes with news from friends; news about how this year will take form. Even in the discomfort of the unknown, I am awed by the buzz that’s about, the fast-paced way in which information travels. I love the feeling that links us all together, to be part of this separate little club, this teacher bubble, this collective consciousness if only for a day. We will most likely go our separate directions, mostly with feelings of apprehension. But at least, if only in spirit, we are going through it together, on the same wave-length.

It’s a process of re-learning, of shifting the way you look at things, of being open to new experiences. It is always daunting, overwhelming at first. But if I could do it last year, there is no reason why I should not be able to conquer it all again. It’s not as if I had any friends at the time. I had to make them. I had to get to know my students, the staff, the school in general. I must remind myself of this. Sometimes I take for granted all that I built.

For the time being, I need to distract myself with things I love. All in due time…

Friday, August 13, 2010

Rambly Stuff

So I probably should be doing productive things right now, such as printing out my CV and cover letter and planning the travel route to all the schools I will be visiting next week... BUT, it's so much more fun and inspiring to blog hop. I get lost in cyber-space for hours. I try to make it at least productive by saving all inspiring images to certain files (wedding, decor, etc) - I am amassing little bits as I go, for the future. I really do need to learn how to use Tumblr effectively.

I will get to that knitty-gritty stuff. It's almost done anyways, just needs to be tweaked once and for all. Made official, all spiffed up since last year, with the added info of the lovely job I've had for the past school year. Some days it feels like eons ago, truly. I wonder how my little ones are doing. I do miss them, when I let my mind wander back to teacher mode.

I told Patrick the other day that it's funny how I don't necessarily remember scenes from movies until I'm watching them again. I watched Bridget Jones on the plane last week, and though I hadn't seen it in years and wouldn't have been able to recite it very well to anyone, as it played I could recount full scenes, even dialogue very accurately. So strange. I kinda feel like I've forgotten how to be a teacher this summer as well, but Patrick assures me it's contextual, that it will all come back to me when I need it, just like with movies. I do hope so. I hate the anxiousness of not knowing where I will be in a few short weeks. I wish it was simple and I could just go back to the same grade, the same room, the same school, with the same lovely bunch of people. But all that will change.
Ah scrapbooking, what a lovely reflective hobby, is it not? Yesterday I hung out with my favorite girlies Julie and Alex. We had brunch out, then went to Julie's for some much-overdue scrapbooking time together. I worked on my mini-album from the trip out west. It's almost done. And, I finally got my camera back, so I might take some photos of it and share them. It's been so long since I've photographed any of my layouts.

This week I've worked out like a mad-woman and it feels great. I've done tons of spinning, heavy lifting in 5-fit, and yoga in between. There is nothing like the post-exercise endorphin release. I am glad that both Patrick and I have chosen to lead healthy, fit lives.

This weekend, tomorrow, we are going to visit some friends in Ottawa. I am looking forward to the open road with my man, the tunes, and spending time with good people we haven't seen in way too long. Last time we went, we had a great time browsing the market and stores, visiting the beach near their house, playing games, and just catching up in general. I know this time will be just the same.

This season has been wonderful, full, swollen with life. I feel incredibly satisfied, lucky. I love, love, lover summer. I am grateful for so much.

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Oh Lovely Bahamas

We are back from the gorgeous Exuma islands. What a place...

It is so hard to adjust after a week of lounging by the ocean and having a butler wait on every need (no, I'm not joking - each room at our resort had their very own butler, trained from the Guild of Professional English Butlers). Although it felt a bit strange at first, it was pretty sweet to have drinks and food brought to us whenever we wanted. The resort was beautiful; very well kept. Everyone on the island is so friendly and helpful. There was no fear or apprehension to travel off the resort. One day we rented a car to go exploring. There are so many deserted beaches with miles and miles of white sand... conch shells to find... calm, turquoise water. I am imagining myself back there now - at Tropic of Cancer beach, the nicest place I've been as of yet in this world of ours. I find myself returning there night after night in my dreams. The sunlight fills me up and make me whole.

It feels like such a bother to be back to reality. Just planning a meal or doing laundry is such a huge task. How ridiculous, but true. You don't even realize how relaxed and happy you were until you're back. While we were there, the most we had to worry about was what kind of drink to order --Bahama Luck, Chocolate Monkey, Swimming Pig, Blue Lagoon, Bahama Mama... mmm...

But to everything, a time, a season, and now it's time to enjoy the last few weeks of summer at home before the reality of late August sets in. I had my moments by sea, as I so desperately wanted, but now it's almost time for call-backs and cover letters. Eeek. I tell myself it will be easier this year, with a whole school-year of experience under my belt. I know it will. But still, there is a pinching in my chest at the thought of it all. How silly our systems seem sometimes, with all their requirements and red-tape. To think that we have created all this - cities, bureaucracy, society - when the purity of the ocean, the turning of the tide, is so much more grand and important. Why is it that people only truly loosen up while away on vacation? Why can't we reserve some little piece of that for back home, carry it with us all year long? I'd like to promise that I will, even as I scrape my car in the dead of winter in preparation for a long work day.